![]() ![]() Simon Birch: Who ever said the church needs a continental breakfast? Rev. Russell: They're merely refreshments so people can socialize and, uh, and discuss the upcoming activities. Simon Birch: I said, "What does coffee and doughnuts have to do with God?" Rev. Grandmother Wenteworth: And his voice, like- Hilde: A mouse. Grandmother Wenteworth: That child is positively unnatural. Simon Birch: Your problem is that you have no faith. Joe Wenteworth: He wants to know, uh maybe if he paid you, could he touch your br. Marjorie: What is it, Simon? Simon Birch: Nothing. Simon Birch: Stop it! Stop it! Joe Wenteworth: Uh, Simon has a question for you. Joe Wenteworth: Why don't you ask her? Oh, uh, Marjorie. ![]() Simon Birch: Maybe she'll let us touch 'em some time if we paid her. Simon Birch: Marjorie's getting breasts. Simon Birch: My bones just turned into BBs! Simon Birch: It's freezing! Joe Wenteworth: My bones just turned into marbles. Joe Wenteworth: Well, what if I said the same thing about your mother? Simon Birch: I'd have you committed. Simon Birch: She's so sexy that sometimes I forget she's someone's mother. Simon Birch: And she smells the best too. Simon Birch: Your mother has the best breasts of all the mothers. Joe Wenteworth: So? Simon Birch: Do they want us to play baseball or urinate? Anyway, I was just thinking. Simon Birch: And this year we're in the Peewees. Joe Wenteworth: Yeah? Simon Birch: Last year we played in the Squirt League, right? Joe Wenteworth: Uh-huh. Old Man #1: Goddamn kids got no respect these days. What'd you use, a matchbox? Simon Birch: Have a nice day. Old Man #1: Here they come - the Wenteworth bastard and his granite mouse. I swear to God I'm gonna strangle that little granite mouse if it's the last thing I do.ĭialogue Joe Wenteworth: Come on. Rebecca Wenteworth: Do your thing, Simon! Show 'em how it's done!.Joe Wenteworth: Jesus, Simon, you look like shit.Joe Wenteworth: Okay, you grabbed her boobs, and you pulled her into the manger.With Simon's help, I had finally found my real father. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for bringing him into my life. Ben Goodrich legally adopted me just two days before my thirteenth birthday. And because Hilde was always so content to just follow her lead.she had a stroke of her own and died in July. Grandmother passed away that June following a stroke. Winter left its icy chill behind and soon it was spring, then summer again.It responds like a snail to our impatience.then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch your breath. Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.First from her closets and drawers, then from her dresses that she had sewed herself and finally, from her bedsheets and pillowcases. ![]() What I remember most to this day was my mother's scent and how I hated it when it began to disappear. You lose them in pieces over time, like how the mail stops coming.
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